And we move live to our reporter on the ground .... the one... the only... Ilona Clayton
I’m half-British and half-Malaysian and grew up in six cities, so I thought I had the whole adaptation and immersion into new cultures thing down. I saw myself as a chameleon, unintentionally changing my accent depending on which friend I was talking to. But I couldn’t remember my time in the UK (I was under two when we left) and even though I had assumed that I would fit in well, I actually didn’t, because there were so many things that I had to get used to, from British pop culture references to finding out that Starbucks in the UK did not have my favourite drink (if you were expecting to be able to get a double chocolate chip frap, be prepared for disappointment).
Moving to a new city, let alone country can be more emotionally tiring than we might expect.
I’ve made a list of tips that will hopefully help with the move and reduce any anxious feelings. Studying at Oxford is a wonderful adventure after all and I pray that you’ll feel at home quickly!
1. Find a café or eating spot that you like near your accommodation.
By all means, do try out all the options in Oxford, but having a go-to (which can obviously change as you discover more places) can provide you with a nice sense of familiarity amidst all of the change going on.
2. Be flexible with your friendships.
You’ve probably heard it before and you’ll probably hear it again, but it’s highly unlikely that the friends you make in the first few weeks of term will be your friends for the rest of your time at university. And that’s totally fine! University is a great time to find out how different people think and see the world. Sometimes really strong friendship groups form, sometimes they don’t. If you’ve generally preferred one-to-one friendships beforehand, don’t feel you have to change that just because you’re at university now.
"Having a go-to [cafe] can provide you with a nice sense of familiarity"
3. Resist the FOMO (feeling of missing out).
I’ll say it again: Resist the FOMO. What I wish I’d been told is that it’s okay to take my time settling in and that it’s okay not to sign up to every event and accept every invitation to hang out. You’ll be more tired than anything if you don’t. You’re going to be in Oxford for at least three years, so chances are that even if you don’t make it to a society’s event or coffee with a particular friend in your first few weeks, you’ll have time to catch up later.
4. Arrive early.
If at all possible, I highly recommend arriving a couple days earlier to get over jet lag if necessary. Oxford terms are pretty much go go go from the moment you arrive (e.g. I was assigned an essay to write in freshers’ week that was due the week after) and if you’re also struggling with jet lag it’s just not an ideal combo. Some colleges are more flexible than others about moving in early, but it’s something to keep in mind and maybe ask your college seniors about.
5. Find some other internationals.
Although I wouldn’t recommend only hanging out with internationals, it can be really comforting to find someone who is in the same boat as you! When I first arrived I was determined to not hang out with any other internationals because I thought that I would miss out on the “real” Oxford experience if I had too many international friends (I’m still not sure why that seemed logical at the time, but basically I was wrong, because what even is the real Oxford experience?). OICCU (Oxford’s Christian Union) has some great international events on throughout term on top of their general events. There are also many other student societies (from the Malaysian Society to Oxford International Society) that are run by and for internationals.
6. Make a list (or several).
I am a big, big fan of lists mainly because I would fall apart without them and especially so at the start of any new year / term. Unfortunately starting university and moving country involves a lot of paperwork (banks, visas, accommodation agreements, signing up for societies or gyms,…) and it’s surprisingly easy to forget about what you need to do. Another big tip is to take passport photos before you arrive and keep spares in your wallet because you will probably need them when you least expect to! Also if you haven’t set up a budget spreadsheet/app the best time to do so is before you arrive so that you can just plug in the numbers as you go along (especially because if faced with setting up a budget spreadsheet or checking out one of the many bubble tea shops in Oxford with your new pals there’s a 100% guarantee that you won’t be setting up that spreadsheet). I did not have a budget spreadsheet when I started university and basically got by with checking how much money I had left before I went out each time, but as you can imagine that was not a good survival tactic.
These pointers might feel very obvious, but I hope they were useful anyway! And if you have any more questions about settling in I am always happy to help if I can, so feel free to contact me at ilona.clayton@some.ox.ac.uk.
xx
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